To say it has been awhile since I last blogged would be an understatement. And unfortunately my need to write down my feelings comes from a place of sadness.. fear.. and heartbreak. For those of you who follow my blog you most certainly have seen a photo or two of my French Bulldog Molly. 3 and a half years ago a 5 pound baby Frenchy stole my heart and changed my world. I loved her in a way I had never loved before. Motherly love. Mama bear protects her baby bear sort of love. A love of knowing I would do anything to keep her safe and happy.
A couple of years ago Molly had some back troubles and was diagnosed with a few back conditions common with French Bulldogs. As saddened as we were to hear the news.. she quickly recovered and was back to her normal self. We thought everything was ok and that she was healthy and happy. This all quickly changed last Sunday when we noticed she seemed to be in great discomfort and the following day was unable to walk for more than 30 seconds without having to sit down. We knew right away her back was acting up. She had X-rays done and saw there was inflammation on her back and we were referred to see a neurosurgeon in Vancouver to have a better look at her.
We caught the 6:30 ferry over to Vancouver and prepared ourselves for what was about to come next. An hour consult later with our Molly and we were told the very news we had prayed not to hear. Even though she was not in much pain now Molly had herniated a disc which was now interfering with her spinal cord. Her case is mild and only has a slightly slower reflex on her back paw. Many dogs and many French Bulldogs who are affected by a herniated disc end up paralyzed. Mollys brother Oslo herniated a disc which lead to paralysis. I am more than happy to say he has recovered and has been doing rehab. www.ouroslo.wordpress.com
Molly was lucky. We have been advised to have a preventative surgery done now so she does not have to go through a larger herniation and perhaps paralysis. We could also take her home and have her be confined for months and do no surgery though her play days would forever be gone. No more long walks through the snow.. or playing fetch at the beach.. no more wrestling with her pals. She deserves more than that. She deserves for me to fight for her to healthy and happy. She goes for her surgery Wednesday morning. How we can afford a 10,000 $ surgery?! Who really knows. Theres no choice when you love your pup more than you can say. Our whole lives outside of Molly will be on hold for some time to come. And her recovery will be our sole focus. I wonder how I am going to have the strength to kiss her pudgy face and tell her Mamas with you before she goes for surgery. Feels so surreal. How do you French Bulldog moms deal with all of these heartbreaks?! And to all you mamas of your children who have to go through health scares and problems.. my hands to you. You must have a unmaginable strength.
I know in my heart of hearts we are doing what Molly needs. And I know shes lucky to be able to have preventative surgery rather than the alternative. I am scared though. Broken. And would really appreciate your prayers for my baby Molly. I know she would love you all for them.. as would I. Updates to come. xo